Terraria Players. Rule Book Revenge.

Dear Hannah: while there are currently a good 200 rules regarding my behaviour - most of them entirely justified - I feel we should have a bit of a talk about yours:

1. Use of heavy artillery on Flying Fish is overkill.

2. No adding Red Bull to the cursed flames.

3. When Alex shouts "cease fire", the expected result is "no more shooting" not "surprise boss fight".

4. "Expert at dodging...sometimes" is both a poor qualification, and good famous last words.

5. Please make Alex aware you have a parachute-umbrella before he taunts you about not being immune to falling.

6. The Corruption does not have a good menu.

7. The fact you are capable of confusing a goldfish with a shark is a matter of concern.

8. The fact you are capable of the reverse of #7 is a matter of great concern and several fatalities.

9. A game patch stopping you breaking physics with teleporters and the grappling hook was a great relief.

10. When Alex breaks a teleporter to stop you getting back, at least give him a moment to gloat before magic-mirroring back 10 feet from him.

11. Use of the Whoopie Cushion counts as a war crime.

12. "Oops" is a bit of an understatement when you throw our only hellchest key into lava by accident.

13. If you don't want Alex to kill the Party Girl you should stop pelting him with confetti.

14. Alex tends to take the hint after the fourteenth "FOUND IT". Please consume less sugary drinks.

15. They're Light Mummies, not "happy mummies"

16. Following on from that, the term is "spreading hallowed" not "making the world happy."

17. It's the pwnhammer, not the pornhammer.

18. Yes that was funny. Really, really funny in fact.

19. No I will not stop laughing at you for #17.

20. Please stop following Alex around with an invisibility potion and a water pistol.

21. That Halloween pet you got hold of is in no way adorable.

22. ... In fact I think it's planning to kill us all. And there's a sudden lack of birds/rabbits/mice/Guide NPCs around since it arrived.

23. "I have Eskimo pants!" is too much information. American readers: please look up what "pants" means in British English.

24. "Facepalm" is a gesture, not a martial art involving a severed zombie arm.

25. Whenever Alex says "Nah, we'll PROBABLY be fine." do the opposite of whatever instruction he just gave.

26. "Did you know you can catch birds and worms?" Yes. I know you can. I know you have. I wish you hadn't.

27. Summoning a boss because we needed Obsidian was a nice idea, if not for the fact said boss doesn't drop that.

28. I don't give a fuck how many of them you've caught, you are not the empress of penguins.

29. Even if you get a black and white suit to go with them.

30. Alex has the right to be dubious about any food or drink you give when you've handed him potions that made the world all sparkly.