The New Life Part 3

Part Three - How Does This Keep Happening?!

Packing for a family trip is never easy. While Ciela gave Atei and Ziruh a bath, I flew around the farm as if I was being chased around by the cucco revenge squad. I quickly got all the animals into the paddock, some taking more treat persuasion than others, as well as collecting any free range eggs the cuccos had decided to lay in my path, some of which were nearly stood on. Not just by me. This path includes our heaviest bovine which prefers not to move when I want her to.

I stuck my neck out and put my hands on my hips. “Right.” I stated. “You are going to go into the paddock. Now.”

No response other than chewing on some hay from the bovine nicknamed Lola.

I tapped my foot and took the hay basket from the side of her pen. She looked at me sleepily. I shook it. Nothing. Lola hated going outside, more so in cooler weather but she had to have the proper diet of grass and get a cool drink of water from the trough.
I motioned for her to come outside tapping my foot impatiently while shaking the living daylights out of the hay basket with my other hand. Lola just looked at me. I give up! I decided to give the barn a quick clear out, allowing the horses to have a free run around the paddock before I saddled them up.

I attacked the mess that was in the stalls with a rake, slamming it down on the hay and throwing it over my shoulder to get it closer to the door. Unaware that there was a child running up behind me.

I was certain I heard a squeal. I turned my head.

“Oops.” I mumbled biting my lip as my son emerged from a dirty pile of thrown hay.

“Again!” he giggled picking some hay out of his crop of oat colour hair.

I sighed, Ciela was going to kill me. She had literally just given them a bath and that took more effort than running a farm. Now Ziruh’s clothes were stained a muddy brown and lined with hay.

“No, not again. We need to get you back in the bath.” I exclaimed leaning the rake against the door frame and taking him by the hand, locking eyes with Lola as I left. We had unfinished business.

Ziruh pulled on my sleeve, “I don’t want to go back in the bath!” he squealed going limp. “I refuse!”

“You refuse?” I remarked half dragging-half lifting him to the house.

“I refuse!” he repeated as I opened the front door and strode in. Atei was sitting on the floor contently chewing the dear life out of a soft toy dressed in a short navy blue dress with white frills sticking out from underneath. There was a discarded cardigan and a sock next to her. She stopped chewing for a moment upon hearing Ziruh and smiled.

Ciela looked up from the kitchen sink, dressed in a pale yellow dress with a white cardigan. She wrinkled her nose. Oops?

“Honey, did you step in something?” She exclaimed wafting the air with a hand.

“No, just run the bath again.” I groaned letting go of Ziruh so that he flopped on the hardwood floor.

“By Din’s fire; what did you feed Lola?!” Ciela coughed coming closer to the smell like a bee to honey. “Ziruh, in the bathroom, now.”

“I REFUSE!” Ziruh shouted into the floor. Ciela and I rolled our eyes at the same time.

“Let’s double team it.” I suggested sliding my hands under the boy’s underarms and lifting him high off the ground before he could react. Even though he was wriggling more than an angry snake, Ciela manage to find the infernal buttons that kept Zurih’s clothes together and unfasten them. We then dragged him upstairs and got him into the bath, my clothes completely covered in muck thanks to his squirming.

Ciela took off her cardigan, rolled up her sleeves and took a cleanish shirt from the washing basket to protect her clean dress from the tsunami that our son was causing. I went downstairs to keep an eye on the younger of our spawn.

Rather than waste time, I dusted the worst of the mess off my clothes and grabbed an old sheet to tie Atei to my back with.

Why do all children wriggle?!

Atei seemed to primitively seen my attack pattern as she tried to scurry away, mostly by rolling over a few times as crawling was taking longer to master but I managed to grab her and wrap her tightly but gently in the sheet much to her growling. I hoisted her onto my back and tied the sheet around my waist and over my shoulders making sure her legs were comfortably positioned on my back. To show her annoyance she sunk her gums into my shoulder, which hurts more than it sounds.

I walked outside with one hand supporting my toddler and the other free to gather the saddles from the hooks in the stable, forgetting of course that I had placed the rake in the doorway, of which I stood on.

“Ow.” I muttered rubbing my eye and stepping off the bottom of the rake. “Ow…”

I shook it off the best I could after the disorientation wore off thanks to being hit square in the nose and went to saddle the horses, which was mostly uneventful, of course, this doesn’t include chasing down the horses, trying to tempt them with carrots that the surprise cows took, forgetting to buckle to saddle resulting in it falling off the horse’s back upon taking a single step and to top the whole thing, my daughter forgetting she was meant to be in a bad mood with me and letting out a shrill cry that sent them stampeding off while I was trying to saddle them up.

But otherwise, no problems.

After getting them saddled and tied to a post, I was exhausted and ready for a nap but I couldn’t stop yet, I had to get ready myself as my wife would not let me out in a dirty tunic and unshaved face. I can’t think why not.

I got inside and placed the wriggling worm of a child on the living room rug to play with her toys. I began the painstaking process of shaving my stubble off my face, still hearing my sons cries from upstairs followed by the pounding footsteps across the landing of him trying to run away from the towels.

After gently and precisely shaving my ‘beard’ I washed my face I practically bounded up the stairs to find Ciela dressing child number one while I buried myself in a draw filled with clothes that fit/matched.

Or at least ones that past the wife test.